Learning to really listen is one of a wizard’s metaskills–those skills which make the acquisition of other, more specific skills, much easier. We all think we know how, but it’s actually not as easy to listen, to really connect, as you might think. When you “listen” just enough to know when the other person is finished speaking, when you find yourself preparing your response before they’ve finished, or looking away from their face as they are speaking–you’re not really listening. And they know it.
I’m sure you can remember times when you became acutely aware that your conversation partner wasn’t really giving you their full attention. As a speaker, I’m always noticing if my audience is engaged or not. I seek to engage individuals in the audience, and to get them to respond to my talks. If I can’t catch someone’s eye and get a nod of agreement, I know I’m not really connecting… but when I can, well, that’s exciting, because real communication is happening. At the point, I can actually make a difference. I can build a relationship. I might even make a friend.
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